Understanding Love Languages in Relationships


Love is a universal feeling, but everyone has a different idea of romantic love, how it is shown, and how to express it. That’s why Dr. Gary Chapman, in his book, states that knowing your and your partner’s love language is essential for the health and longevity of the relationship. 

In fact, research reveals that 41% of surveyed people broke up because their partners failed to understand their love languages. On the contrary, another study shows that couples who use and express their and their loved one’s love language enjoy higher satisfaction levels.

At Dietrich Institute, we believe that love languages help you express your love in a way that shows your partner you care. Below we’ll dive into the different love languages and their benefits:

A Quick Overview of the Five Love Languages

Everyone has a preferred and unique love language to receive and express love. For instance, you might enjoy snuggling up on the couch for a movie marathon on your birthday, while your partner prefers a massive party. Recognizing your and your loved one’s love language is crucial for strengthening your bond, creating a healthy relationship, and avoiding emotional distress.

The five love languages allow you to understand your and your partner’s primary love language. The framework for these love languages roots in Dr. Gary Chapman’s book, where he describes the different styles of communicating love. The author encourages couples to explore their love languages to promote open communication and self-expansion.

How Does Knowing Your Love Language Benefit Your Relationship?

Knowing and practicing how you and your significant other express love can have a powerful impact on your relationship. Here are several benefits of knowing your and your loved one’s love language:

It Improves Communication

Learning your partner’s love language makes reaching out to each other easier for you and your significant other. You learn how to express yourself in a meaningful way, reducing the risk of losing words in translation.

In addition, improved communication leads to a stronger and healthier relationship.

It Creates Empathy 

Knowing what makes your partner feel appreciated and unique helps create empathy and understanding. Therefore, it aids in developing emotional involvement and a lasting relationship. 

It Ensures Intimacy 

Talking about what makes you feel loved and appreciated helps build understanding and intimacy in your relationship. It will bring you closer to your lover while enhancing your connection. 

Learning about the Five Love Languages in Healthy Relationships

Let’s now explore the five love languages that describe how different people want to experience love: 

  1. Acts of Service

If your love language is acts of service, you value a partner who goes out of their way to make you feel happy and appreciated. It’s more than likely that you believe from the bottom of your heart that actions always speak louder than words.

People who prefer acts of service will notice and appreciate the small or big things you do for them, whether bringing soup when sick or washing the dishes. Moreover, these people tend to perform acts of service for their loved ones. 

  1. Physical Touch

Often people like to touch and feel their partners, especially to express their emotions. They feel appreciated when their partner shows physical signs of affection. These people feel more connected through touch and enjoy being close to their partner.

For instance, if you communicate love through physical touch, you may hold hands, cuddle, or kiss your partner. Any physical intimacy, however simple it sounds, can be affirming for these people, allowing them to feel comfortable and warm. 

But when it comes to physical touch, it’s best to communicate boundaries and preferred contact, in private and public. 

  1. Quality Time

If quality time is your love language, you want undivided attention from your lover to feel connected and loved. Moreover, you likely feel the most appreciated when your partner actively spends time with you without the distraction of the television, phone, or anything else.

Besides this, people whose love language is quality language love appreciate active listening, eye contact, and complete presence in their relationship. Furthermore, they enjoy having meaningful conversations or recreational activities with their significant other. 

Remember to carve out time with a partner who appreciates quality time.

  1. Receiving Gifts

People who value gifts feel loved when their partner gives them visual symbols of love. For them, gift-giving indicates affection and appreciation. Moreover, for these people, gifts are not about the monetary value but the thought and effort behind them.  

If receiving gifts is your love language, you’ll notice and value the gift-giving process, from choosing the object and the emotional thought behind it to the written words and reflection. For instance, you might bring them their favorite pastry when visiting, surprise them with flowers, or gift them something personal like an inside joke.

  1. Words of Affirmation

Words of affirmation involve expressing affection through spoken words, praise, and appreciation. If this is your love language, you value verbal acknowledgment, such as frequent ‘I love you’s,’ compliments, encouragement, love notes, and frequent digital communication.

Written and spoken words are critical in making you feel appreciated and loved. Knowing you’re loved or good at something can make you happy. So, your partner can make your day by complimenting you, whether your features, style, or way of doing things. 

How to Identify Your Love Language?

You can determine your and your partner’s love language by reciprocating their gestures, identifying how they express love, and watching how they react to different love languages

In addition, consider engaging in an open and honest conversation to discuss what love language your partner prefers. Remember to give each other time to learn and practice the other one’s preferred love language.

The Bottom Line  

Once you and your significant other learn about each other’s love languages, you can communicate healthily, promoting a lasting emotional connection. Moreover, learning your and your partner’s love language can help you grow.

Remember to put a little extra effort into understanding your loved one’s love language. That way, you can make them feel loved and appreciated while fostering a healthy relationship. 


Nguyen, J. (2020, May 19). Why Everyone’s Talking About Love Languages These Days & How To Find Yours. Mindbodygreen. https://www.mindbodygreen.com/articles/the-5-love-languages-explained

‌Gordon, S. (2020, June 27). Everything You Need to Know About the Five Love Languages. Verywell Mind. https://www.verywellmind.com/can-the-five-love-languages-help-your-relationship-4783538

‌Rosen, M. K., Sara. (n.d.). How to show your partner love in their love language — and why love languages are so important. Insider. https://www.insider.com/guides/health/sex-relationships/love-languages

‌Santos-Longhurst, A. (2022, March 31). How to Identify Your Love Language. Healthline. https://www.healthline.com/health/love-languages

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